Week of Highs and Lows...Temp Wise

I completely failed to achieve that sought after "balance" I talked about in my last blog entry. This past week, the balance" of being active, allowing time to "refuel," was elusive, and not at all present. But I am going to blame the weather.

I was confused about why I felt tired the past two days. I considered my activity level the first 8 days of February--Sunday to Sunday--and it made more sense. It was an extraordinary week, weather wise, and I took advantage of the highs and lows. I'm not sure I'll ever report about another week like this one.

Sunday, Feb 1 - 60 degrees
9am I didn't feel great

2:20pm did my first cross race--Cross My Heart Superbowl of Cyclocross Race by Proteus Bikes

Ridiculous fun(kudos to Jim Venttosa for putting on a great race) with mud, mud and more mud, interspersed with ice that hadn't melted yet. Short Sleeves and shorts.

4pm i was doubled over with abdomenal pain that lasted the next 12 hours(stomach flu?).

Mon, Feb 2 - 40 some degrees
3am pain subsided, finally slept
9m called in sick for the 3rd time in my life--hadn't eaten for 24 hrs--just before race.

Tues, Feb 3 - 30 some degrees

Weak from not eating, but on the mend.

Wed, Feb 4 - 25 degrees evening

6-8:30pm Night snow ride with the girls--trails alternated from snow to ice to mud to snow to more ice. Multiple falls for everyone, but god, what a blast. 3 packs of hand warmers...cold.

Thurs, Feb 5 - 25 degrees evening
7:30-10pm Snowboarding at Liberty with Jon and Josh. Not a stellar boarding performance, but much fun even with the icy slopes and cold blasts of wind on the lifts.

Fri, Feb 6 - 32 degrees evening

Legs a little tired. Jon and I went to art opening in Baltimore, then to comedy club. Great night, but didn't get back til late.

Sat, Feb 7 - 60 degrees
60 mile road ride from Frederick through Thurmont, Emmitsburg, Catoctin Furnace, to see all the covered bridges we could find. Gorgeous sunset...made it back just before dark. I had to ride hard. My single speed gear was a lot easier than Jon's fixed gear. It was getting dark, and I had no lights, so I pedaled as hard as I could.

Sun, Feb 8 - 60 degrees

24 mile rd ride(round trip). Jon, Kevin, Ken and I left from Kevin's house in Woodbine on scenic ride to Bike Swap in Westminster.

Hardly a week of balance. Two days of not being able to eat, and within 24 hrs I am pedaling through snow and ice covered trails in below zero temps. Maybe awareness is at least something...

A Question of Balance

Strangely enough, at a party a few weeks ago, I had a big fight with a dear friend of mine. That is unusual for me, as I am pretty easy going, and rarely riled by opposing opinions; obviously, this hit close to home.

Jon, who was literally, and figuratively, in the middle of the argument, eventually smiled and slipped into the other room, either out of annoyance, or amusement. Either would have been valid.

photo by Todd Bauer

The argument escalated, and it was, of all things, about balance, regarding biking. I was "fighting" for the cause of keeping balance on things that are good, but can easily become "too much." He was "fighting" for the cause of pushing limits 'til you can't go any more, rather than presupposing what "can" happen. The discussion did not end well.

Neither of us was trying to convince the other; like most things that get us riled, we are trying to convince ourselves.

I believe that biking is a vehicle, nothing more, nothing less, for connecting. In its best form, biking is a means of connecting with friends, family, the environment, our community, or ourselves. In its opposite form, it is a means for distancing, or ignoring, all of the above. Those who seem to succeed do a constant re-appraisal, and balancing, between the two. We love the feeling of connection among like-minded people, but we also love the escape from the inherent difficulties of work and relationships. It's all about acknowledging and keeping track of where we are at any given time.

I was invited to join some friends on the slopes last night. I was still tired from our Wisp trip(away thurs-sun) and a stressful beginning of the work week. The relentless question of "balance" and wisdom flickered, ever so briefly, and I decided to override it and go. I am not a skilled snowboarder; and I am not endowed with wisdom when it comes to limits, so I honestly had no idea how this would turn out. I went anyway, aware of that.

My first run on a blue slope was a disaster: I simply could not relax enough to turn the snowboard. I was forcing it with my body, rather than my legs, and I mostly tumbled all the way down the slope. I knew I had made a big mistake in going. I was probably going to die, I thought.

On the next few runs, I relaxed and "remembered" how to board. It came easily, and I jumped on the black slopes that didn't have "bumps," and descended with ease and confidence; the steeper the slopes, the better I did.

I am thankful to Julie, Joe, Todd and Larry, who patiently waited while I missed 4 left turns in a row, even after repeated attempts to both guide and wait for me to join the group. Direction wise, I couldn't seem to focus.

I knew after the last run, that I had run a huge risk. Had I continued my bad runs down the slopes, would I have pulled back and taken a rest? Would I have acknowledged my limits and been ok with that? Or would I have pushed past them and gotten hurt? As hard as it is to admit, chances are I would have opted for the latter.

So my argument with my friend was, in fact, an argument with myself, trying to understand, and accept, that limits, and balance, are crucial. I'm not sure I was born with the genetics to intuitively "get" this, but I can certainly use my intellect to at least TRY to overrride it.

I am successful at this balance, maybe half the time. That's better than it used to be.

Like many of my mountain biking friends who share(either admittedly, or not) the same "pushing the limit" quality, I have been fortunate. I am alive, after many many risks, on the slopes or the trails or whereever.

Could I live differently? Yes and no. I'm certainly aware, when I want to be, of the "angel vs. devil" voice in my head that prompts action, or not. Maybe that, in and of itself, is progress. Only time will tell. But I had one hell of a time boarding last night. If I had listened to the warning in my head, I would have missed all of it.